When Does it End?

I will write as many posts as I need until I heal. I thought leaving The Burning Man and quitting my job were going to be my huge step towards the other side of the river. They weren’t. I still have to keep on crossing this unknown and fragile bridge on my own.

Four days have gone by and I haven’t felt like crying. Today I did.

Being a workaholic and quitting my job from one day to the next has left me with a lot of free time, and I am having trouble with that. My head keeps overthinking all the things that have happened and when it does, I lose my balance, I feel the fear, the sadness, the loneliness and the uncertainty of the future.

I was living in hell, I should feel safe and happy by now. How come I feel so vulnerable?

 

5 thoughts on “When Does it End?

  1. Change, good or bad is still change and it sucks. You sound like a Type A personality- workaholic and always moving. Sitting still without a list of things to get done would make me bonkers too. That being said- maybe some forced down time to feel, to cry, to mourn, to fictive your heart will be what is best.

    Then the moving forward can begin. You’ll get there ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am not very sure if you know this, but your writing gives us hope, strength and peace. Thank you for sharing your story, you inspire us. I will take my forced down time instead of escaping it. 🐢

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  3. The best thing you can do right now is to cry. Just curl up and let it all out. I completely understand the feeling of uncertainty and just not knowing what to do with yourself whilst your brain just runs away and overthinks everything. It happens all too often. Just allow your tears to wash away all those fears and pressures and concerns. And then breathe, regroup and write some more. Write about anything that comes to mind. Before you know it, you’ll be feeling like yourself again! Much love to you. xx

    Like

    • Your words are so soothing, thank you so much! I’ll get through this and become stronger and wiser than before. This time I won’t skip the steps, I’ll embrace the uncertainty and allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling. God bless you for sharing what you’ve learned during your tough times 🙏🏼

      Liked by 1 person

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