Day Ten

I need a job. Fast.

I enjoy being by myself. I enjoy being around other people. I don’t enjoy being with The Burning Man. I am still here because I work for him and I need to pay my bills.

I don’t share any time with him or talk to him on the phone after work.

Today I left the office early and he called. I was in therapy, I muted the phone and didn’t answer. I was about to text him with another one of my excuses, but I didn’t feel like messaging him. I can’t keep on lying. It’s too much. It makes me uncomfortable and anxious. But not texting or calling him back makes me feel guilty.

I asked myself two questions after he called: 1) Do you want to call him? 2) Do you want to text him? I answered NO to both questions and promised myself I wouldn’t feel guilty about my decision.

I arrived to the tournament and enjoyed myself. It’s my space. I met some nice people from Argentina and had a great time. I also won my match, 6-1, 3-6 and 6-2. I’m ready for the semifinals tomorrow.

There’s only one thing… I feel guilty.

4 thoughts on “Day Ten

  1. Guilt is a wasted emotion. Instead use this space for reemergence into You 2.0. There are no mistakes. Downtime is reenergize time. Just like a butterfly’s cocoon. This space is creating a whole knew you. Let it. Let you. Just be… 🦋 💙

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You owe nobody anything, especially not guilt when what you’re doing is protecting your peace.

    My motto when stuff gets hard is Protect Your Peace

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your words are pure wisdom. I agree 100%. Guilt is a waste of energy. I won’t be investing on that emotion anymore. Thank you for sharing your uplifting words, for encouraging and for taking the time to read me. Have a wonderful day!!! ☀️

    Liked by 1 person

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