I didn’t feel like writing yesterday. I was getting used to having good days that kept me moving with good energy towards new beginnings, but yesterday, I fell of the wagon.
I tried my best to acomplish nice things for myself but this time I didn’t feel motivated or proud to do so.
I’ve been analizing what happened and here it is. The Burning Man is getting used to my distance and feels happy about it. I know that’s what I’m aiming for, to leave him, but the thought of him getting over me was terryfing. I feel embarassed to feel that way.
We share a housekepper and she told me that his wife and his daughter are coming for the summer to Banana Town. He hasn’t said anything about it. Will they stay at his house? The daughter definitely will. The wife always stays at her best friends house, but maybe this time she’ll stay with him. By distancing myself from him, he’s run out of narcissitic supply and they’ve gotten closer together ever since.
Sharing this is not easy, but I believe that writing about it will help me keep on moving to the exit door.
I already walked my dog and shared some time with two neighbors. That made my mind get over the obsesive thoughts of The Burning Man.
I have a long day ahead of me. I will feed my dog, have breakfast, go to work, have lunch with my bestfriend, have an appointment with the best psychotherapy I’ve ever met in my life, and finally, I will close the day playing my third paddle tennis match of the tournament.
I know it’s just a fall. I will stand up and keep going. The only way to get to the other side is crossing through the thunderstorm.